08 June 2009

"Why do I want to destroy you? ... I know. It's because you look so weak and yet you turn out to be so strong, while I appear to be strong but am deep inside so weak."

Now I understand: the competitiveness, the avoidance, the stubbornness, the pretentious gaiety. You were bleeding deep within.

Now I will stop beating myself down for being too weak, for not being good at hiding my "katangahan." For now I see that the one thing that we greatly owe to ourselves is honesty. Without it, we end up suffering a lifetime of pretensions. And only God knows how long we can keep up with it.

Courage begins with the admission of fear. Strength grows in embracing one's weakness.

Now I appreciate my ignorance and stupidity, and my tackless display of it before people. I say this not to honor myself, but to honor self-honesty, to honor those who admit that they are afraid, that they are insecure, that they feel inferior. And to honor you my friend, who are now groping in oblivion. May you find your way back.

I'm here, hold my hand.

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