Tantrums

The weirdest, most inexplainable thing happened last night. 

My son threw a fit,  something that Lakay and I hardly ever saw. 

He accused me of grabbing him to his bed, which I didn't do. 

Then started saying with those heavily furrowed brows that he hates everyone. He hates "the universe!" (Imagine Hatey of Smurfs? That's exactly how he said it.) 

I asked, "You think that is a good thing to do? Hating everyone?"

He replied, "In my universe, it is good."

Trying not to raise an eyebrow, I told him again, "But you are in my universe now. And in my universe that is not good."

He said, "No ! The universe now is divided." 

I stifled some giggles and put on a serious front. I then asked him to go up to his bed, which he didn't do. I took on a sterner tone, he started to sob. And then became hysterical. I asked again what was wrong. All he said was that I grabbed him. 

I didn't have a clue where that came from. Lakay and I just stared at him in confusion while he went on crying like the whole world has done him some injustice. 

And then he started pointing the accusing finger at me, and said, "You! You!..." and then finally said, "You underwear full of cheese!"...???

I know I wasn't supposed to do what I did next, but couldn't help it. As soon as I caught Lakay's laughing eyes behind his indifferent affect, I just hid my face under the blanket and laughed. Quietly. Uncontrollably. With tears. 

Soon, I got a grip of myself, went to the boy, hugged him, said sorry for "grabbing him" and tried to sooth him with my embrace. He finally calmed down and drifted to sleep. 

The next morning, he told me, "You know when I was angry last night, I thought of rolling on the floor. But then I decided to stomp my feet instead." 

I just said, "Oh, is that so?" with a tone that meant I was starting to get a sense of what happened. 

I mean, who does that, right? Who throws a tantrum and still be cerebral while in it?

Only a boy who is not a natural tantrum-er (probably the genes). 

Only a boy who witnessed a younger sleepy boy go crazy in front of his parents last weekend (the 3-year-old son of our friends). 

So that's why on our way home that day, he was extremely quiet. He was probably thinking to himself, "Why don't I get to do that?" 

He probably thought something was wrong, that he was missing something as a kid. 

So last night was his attempt to make up for that lost childhood. 

Sigh*, this is a lot harder than my PhD.