27 October 2012

parenting by kids' standards

I admit, with his baby brother taking up more time and energy, I have been anything but fun around Kuya Bugey. Right now, I'm thanking my lucky stars for Lakay who's doing a great job in compensating for Mum.

Now, if there's a good thing that comes from being sidetracked by a demanding 6-month-old,  then that would be an extra doze of mindfulness for the mother to spend great, albeit brief, bonding moments with the big brother. Two Saturdays ago, Bugey found me working in front of our desktop, and managed to squeeze himself in. I was about to protest, when I realized it's been a while since he did this to me. And so then I let him drill his already heavy and sharp butt bones on my lap, as I clicked on an old toy we've had lots of fun with --Photobooth.  

"Relax, you're doing a good job," says a friend who came over for dinner last week. She probably noticed how high-strung I was with all this new business of balancing  between two kids. I guess I've been reading too many books, and blogs, and websites about parenting. I raised my expectations on my self too highly. I've forgotten how to just enjoy being a mum.

I mean, parenting literature has definitely been helpful. It's just that I tend to think that the studies and the scientific facts are THE ONLY measure of good parenting. Sometimes, we have to check our selves and ask, "Who's measuring anyway?" There are the well-meaning relatives and friends. There are the experts (like the nurse who raised an eyebrow when we told her yesterday that we've just started feeding our baby solids :). But at the end of the day, the best judge to that will still be our kids. I've read somewhere (here I go again) that kids may be na├»ve in many ways, but they can tell if you're just faking it.    

I've reached the stage where I  thank my parents profusely for doing a great job on me. Someday, I hope my sons will also say, "Mum, you did a good job. Thanks." - even if the only basis for that would be my letting them take two minutes off my work time to goof around in Photobooth.  

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