Smarty Pants

I have observed that my son’s reasoning has gone from simple to complex in just a matter of months. He asks more questions now and demands for more proofs. For my part, that would mean learning to cope with the speed of his convoluting neurons. But…(sigh), I never thought it would be this hard.

This afternoon, while ironing clothes I tried to convince him to stop coming to me by making up a story about a little boy whose face got burned by a flatiron. Without a pause, he asked, “What’s his name?” In panic, I came up with “Pinchu” (Pinocchio’s picture was then in front of me). Just when I thought I was off the hook, he asked, “Where does he live?” I answered “Mexico,” from the top of my head. Quickly I changed the subject before Mr. Smarty pants could ask more.

Two hours after, he came to my lap to invade my twitter time. He seized my hands and tried to type tweets in my updates. While struggling to break free, I told him that four-year-olds don’t do twitter. “Yes, they do!” he argued back. Again, out of desperation I had to say, “The book says boys and girls can only do twitter when they turn 12.” “No! Four!” he barked back. “No, it says 12,” I insisted. “Which book?” he demanded. Tongue-tied, I turned to Lakay for help. The heartless man simply shrugged his shoulders and turned his back (with a smirk!)

Now bracing for this little one's ambush questions is one thing. Legislating laws for smart alecks is another.

At dinnertime, I thought of setting up a reward system to get him to eat more veggies. The deal was that if he eats his bowl of vegetables from Sundays to Fridays, come Saturdays, we will buy him any book or dvd to his liking. This got him excited at once. But upon seeing the Ilokano pinakbet served on the table for Lakay and me, he must have thought that I’d be giving him these “ugly veggies” too. He then decided to rewrite the law:

“Even if I don’t finish my veggies, I will still get a reward on Saturdays,” he declared.

Feeling in control, Lakay said, “But that’s your rule. That’s not our rule. So if you follow your rule, then you have to buy your reward by yourself.”

Hah! So you think that nailed him? Fat chance. This 54-month old boy who got his wit from God knows where, simply answered, “Ok then. I’ll just get mummy’s wallet!”