I didn't know how highly-strung I have been lately until I saw the sadness in Lakay's eyes this morning. We started with a conversation that turned into an edgy exchange about something that was supposedly trivial (so trivial that I don't even remember what it was).
What was wrong with me? Honestly, I didn't have a clue. Hormones? Don't think so. Pressure in school? It's been there since day one. What makes the past days different?
Then while trying to console my poor man with a hug, it hit me: we haven't really done anything together for the past 8 weeks or so. We both made an agreement a long time ago (wow, that was a really looooong time ago), that we should make an effort to do things together. And that means just TWO of US, no tyrannical 4-year old ranting about not being in the conversation, or breathing fire on us should we gaze away.
Lakay and I did try going out a few times. But in those rare times, even the heavens were at the mercy of the little one's wrath -- say, we get a call from his school while in the middle of a good movie!
Resigned like lambs, we simply stopped trying. Besides, bonding with the little one at home is happiness enough, right? And saving money instead of spending on dates would be good for us in the long run, right? And we know how much we love each other anyway, right?
Stupid woman! Who am I fooling?
I was told that rule # 1 for marital bliss is about the gift of presence, and that means really being present to that person you love. How can one do that while at the beck and call of a demanding boy, or while one's head is floating with the worries about the future?
An angel said: Hush now. Nobody's perfect. Take the morning off and breathe.
And so this morning I embarked on an aimless walk with my favorite person. Hand in hand, we walked through the city, entered a coffee shop, took pictures of people in the streets, window shopped until our feet grew tired, then lunched in the sun room of an Italian restaurant.
Truth is, it didn't really matter to me where we went. I was WITH Lakay, that was enough.
With the smiles this morning brought to our day, I can't wait for the next time I take the morning off for a date with him. And this time, I promise not to wait till my nerves get high-strung again.
lunch at QUO VADIS